12 Love Tips That Will Help You Build a Stronger Relationship
Whether you’ve been dating your partner for a few months or a few decades, there’s nothing more exhilarating than falling in love—from the butterflies in your stomach to the dream-like state you walk through life in, this phenomenon is truly a magical experience. As time passes and the two of you get complacent in your union or bogged down by your routine, however, you might notice that the novelty, excitement, and passion that were alive and well in the initial stages of your partnership have started to fade.
Although this experience is common (and completely normal), it doesn’t mean the flame in your relationship is destined to dwindle. Luckily, there are steps you can take to strengthen your connection and fall even more deeply in love with one another—even if you’ve been together for years. "I absolutely believe you can deepen love at any stage of a relationship," says psychotherapist and relationship expert Jacqueline Schatz. "Love can deepen and become richer over time." All it takes is a little bit of work on your part, but it’s completely possible to restore the fairy-tale-worthy romance you once had.
If you’re wondering how to create a connection that rivals the first time you fell in love, we asked psychologists and relationship coaches to share their secrets. Ahead, 12 love tips that will create a healthy, long-lasting bond—no matter what stage you’re in.
Appreciate Everyday Moments
You don't need to make a grand romantic gesture or plan an extravagant vacation to keep your relationship alive. The everyday moments that may seem simple or predictable present endless opportunities to strengthen your relationship. What elevates your connection is approaching these moments with mindfulness and intentionality, rather than simply going through the motions. For example, talking to each other over breakfast every morning or asking about one another's days while cooking dinner together every night will have a big impact on your bond. By enjoying the little things with your partner, you make them a constant part of your daily life. "If you've made a choice to put your lives together, to share a life together, that means you aren't two separate selves, and you will grow closer," Schatz shares.
Overcome Challenges Together
Overcoming challenges together is a love tip that's guaranteed to strengthen your bond. Although going through a difficult situation doesn't necessarily feel good, you'll come out on the other end stronger if you rely on one another. If you're working through something challenging as a unit, such as trying to have a baby or attempting to tackle your debt, approach it as a team. If you're dealing with a personal matter, whether it's an autocratic boss or an overbearing parent, lean on your partner for support. "Any challenges that come up, being able to support each other through them will deepen your love," Schatz explains. "Even if the outcome of the challenge isn’t successful, the love can be successful."
Go on Adventures
When every day starts to follow a similar schedule of work, household chores, and possibly childcare, life can feel monotonous and your relationship can easily fall into a rut. According to Megan Weks, a certified dating and relationship coach, getting out of your comfort zone by going on adventures together can bring excitement back into your life and union. "By introducing your relationship to new and thrilling environments, where you might experience a flutter of fear or excitement, the relationship itself can feel as vibrant and refreshing as these adventures," Weks says. Maybe that looks like soaring through the sky in a hot air balloon or traveling to an exotic island. The shared experience will bring you closer and help you learn something new about your significant other.
Relive the Experiences That Helped You Fall in Love
If you've been dating or married for a long time, one love tip Schatz advises is recalling all of the activities and experiences that contributed to the two of you falling in love. Then, repeat them regularly. "You don't want to lose sight of those things," she says. "You want to remember them and infuse your relationship with them." Having dates at the winery, restaurant, or beach where you first started developing feelings for one another will help you relive those dreamy moments and emotions, taking your relationship to a deeper level.
Spend Time Doing Things You Both Enjoy
A key love tip that will undoubtedly augment your connection is partaking in shared experiences that are enjoyable for both of you. Perhaps the two of you relish going on a run, exploring museums, or attending concerts together. "It really doesn't matter what the activity is as long as it's something you both enjoy, and in doing that activity, that shared positive experience helps you deepen your love," Schatz points out. Whatever it is, make sure to incorporate the activity into your daily routine.
